Tour Journal- Traveling Troubadours Tour 2012

May 11 2012

Yesterday was the start of the Traveling Troubadours Tour. 

It was a busy day… packing all morning, getting all my cd's and merch organized, practicing the songs I just learned for my tour mates (we play on each other's songs). I went over to Hear It First to record some live songs and interviews and then straight over to the concert venue The Anchor in Downtown Nashville.

I've hosted a few concert nights at The Anchor called "Indie On The Brink" that have been really really sweet, intimate, awesome times- we invite about 10 artists to each share 3 songs and talk about the stories behind them and their own lives. We thought kicking off the Troubadour Tour at an "Indie On The Brink" night would be great. But there was definitely a different vibe in the air as the night started. It just felt stiff and not really loving/supportive. Made me kinda sad. I felt like there was a feeling of "performance" and jadedness. It's a typical feeling when artists that are talented but not super famous get up to play- but these nights have never been typical, they've been special. After 5 artists went up, the Troubadours (myself, Faith Gilmore- my bff, and Sean Michel) went up. Sean started with his stomping bluesy song "My Jesus" and I feel like the audience started to relax a little. We played 3 songs each and I must say it was pretty seamless especially for our first performance together. I love playing with them because on their songs I get to get outside of my box. I also love singing harmonies with them and playing tambourine and stomping around on Sean's songs.

The crowd definitely relaxed and got into it by our last song. I felt extremely giddy and excited thinking I would get to do this every night for the next 3 weeks. It felt natural, easy, satisfying, and at the same time challenging and like stepping out on a limb. 

I love telling the stories behind my songs almost as much as I enjoy singing them. It's a rush speaking straight from my heart, not really knowing what I'm about to say! I've introduced each songs dozens of times but I am always learning more about what they mean every time I play them. I love encouraging people and getting real with them- I like to tell them that I'm no better because I'm on stage- I'm still trying, I'm still reaching, I'm still questioning and getting burned just like I always have been and always will be but I choose to live with hope and courage. I want them to get that. 

This morning (Friday) the boys (Sean and his friend/manager/tour manager Jay) came over to my house in our little short bus affectionately named "Betty White". The Troubadours got old Betty about 2 years ago through a kickstarter campaign for another Troubadour tour that I was on… Just want to take a moment to talk about Sean and Jay. They look like extreme misfits by conservative standards- Sean has black hair down to his waist with a beard almost as long, wears a bandana and dark sunglasses. Jay is probably 6'5, tattoos everywhere, with long dreadlocks- if I didn't know them and ran into them in a dark alley I would certainly fear for my life. But I tell you the more I get to know them the more I am amazed that God has created such thoughtful, intelligent,  sweet, real, God-fearing and people-loving men. It's so fun being around them because they treat Faith and I like real sisters, with all respect and kindness. 

We managed to get all our gear, suitcases and bags and bags of groceries onto the bus (Faith and I brought groceries to try to be healthy) The aisles and most of the seats were covered in all our stuff but it all fit and we were off rolling to Cleveland TN.

We had some good conversations on the way to Cleveland- talked about how if you don't know in your heart who you are and what you have to say and how you're gonna say it, it's easy to compromise, it's easy to be bought. So many artists don't like what labels "make them do" but the reason they could be "made to do" anything is because they don't know deep down who they are and what they have to say musically. We also came up with a nickname for our tour- It's officially The Traveling Troubadours Tour but the tagline for this one is "Servant of all tour". So now when I post stuff about the tour I suppose I will hashtag it with #servantofalltour. That's a good reminder, especially being with 3 other people non-stop for 3 weeks. Listened to some new Lecrea (loved his lyric "I used to want a ten but now I have the one) I dozed off for a while and we arrived at the venue about an hour before we had to play.

Now I'm going to give you the good, the bad, the unglamorous and the redemptive in these journal entries.

I hope the truth sets all of us free (especially artists out there). Being a musician, being a "Troubadour" has always been about being the people's servant, not about making tons of money and doing everything first class. Musicians are here to spread stories, ideas, and to express the feelings that the people have. Who knows exactly when we began believing the lie that you're not a real musician if you're not known by many. So here's the truth: the venue we arrive at is really a whole in the wall called Sacred Heart. It's a small place, but right from the time we walked off the bus and meet the few people there I could tell it was a good place. I love humble little churches- No fancy lights, sound systems or decorations- just a few willing people that decided to give it a go and make a place where people are welcome to get to learn about Jesus and find friendship. A few people came, including two really sweet sisters. Faith and I got to talking to them and learned one is a fire dancer/artist and one sings big band 40's music in a band and also writes her own music. We invited the one who sings to open for us with a few songs. She did and her songs and voice were absolutely amazing (think Adele). We did our thing and had a lot of fun. After the show, we got one of our Compassion kids sponsored. Now that child will have the chance to have meals, medicine, and teaching about Jesus as long as her sponsor continues supporting her. I still can't really understand how glorious that is, but I know that  it is. We went out to eat and Faith and I came to a host home- the boys are staying at Sacred Heart on couches.

When I was younger and more foolish, maybe I would have thought that a handful of people was a disappointment but thankfully God has broken me free of some of that pride. I'm so grateful because I can enjoy the moment, enjoy the fact that because there is only a few people, I can talk to everyone there, enjoy the process of being humbled, define again why I make and share music. As Heidi Baker says "it's all about the one". It's all about the one person in front of you, you give each one everything you would want to give thousands and over time you will have given thousands all that you have. "Performing" and music is not about getting- getting applause, getting money, getting recognition- if it's about getting, the art will suffer the artist will burn out. Performing out of a place of neediness just won't make for greatness, it will make for mediocrity. True art is about giving. Giving the audience a catharsis for all their emotions and feelings, giving them a piece of yourself through vulnerability in lyrics an emotions, giving when they don't know who you are and they really don't care, giving them something beautiful, something that cost you- even if you never know that your song is their favorite song, that your song really helped them understand a certain part of life, that your song told their story. An artist gives and gives and gives because the payment comes from God and the payment is the release. The getting is the giving. 

Anyway, now as I type I'm completely comfortable in the home of someone from the church who I just met- sleeping on their couch- listening to some sort of heavenly music they have playing on a cd. Tomorrow we are heading to Asheville. And now I'm going to get the music from that Cd on to my computer and try to go to sleep. (now looking at the CD I can tell you it's called "The Odes Project Volume 2") listen to it- it's really beautiful.

Take away thoughts for today: "Blessed are the humble- for they can enjoy the moment" and "it's all about the one right in front of you"